DETATCHED TEARS

Is this who I am?

There are times when you go through life not really going forwards or backwards.  You stand idle, unaware of your surroundings.  You do not understand that you are not going anywhere.  You are only aware of  your heavy heart and the tears never stop flowing.  Every conversation, every activity, every detail that you see brings you back to the heart, the hurting heart. All you know is the pain, and that will not go away.  It tears you down.  It consumes you.  It becomes you.  That is what I became.  Getting past this point was out of my reach, far from my grasp.  There was no one there to grab my hand and pull me up.  I was seperated from everything, everything except my tears and pain.  I could not see a way out.  Everything ran together.  My days, my nights my thoughts, my pain, just one blur until at some point, I took a good look at myself and said "Is this who I am?"  I knew the answer to this question.  For a brief moment I remembered who I used to be and decided "No!  This is not who I am.  This is not me!"  It was then that I knew, it was time, yes time to begin the climb back to who I really am.