IT WILL BE OK

Can I ascend?

Hearing the words "It could be cancer." echoing throughout your ears leaves you unable to fully acknowledge the rest of the conversation. The words being said become muffled and monotone that you fluctuate your head concealing that you do not understand. The few words you do remember are "biopsy", "more tests", and "it will be ok". I thought I was going in for a different kind of help. A kind of  help to sooth my tears. To fix my tortured heart. At first I was numb. I didn't know what to make of it. It is in these times that your life flashes before your eyes. I had heard these words before, These words were said to me after a routine check up.  A time right before my slow descending passage. In the end, that struggle turned out ok. Would it this time?  Would it really be ok like the words that slipped through my ears so quickly.   I so deeply wanted to begin my progression in ascending out of this place. But now with this, with this in my trail, could I really ascend? After much thought and allowing my sense to process,  I made a choice. A decision of sorts.  The way to pass through this would have to be, one day at a time. Before I could seal my fate and expect the worst, I needed to take the proper stride to find out if this element even had a place to exist in my being. My choice was to begin my ascend, to block it from my mind, until I could take the qualified steps to find out what really existed.  Somehow, it would be ok.